How to discover your true inner self with Tools of Titans - Part 3

 

Maria Popova   //   author of Brain Pickings, pp. 406

• "Write to please just one person" Kurt Vonnegut – meaning that when pursuing something like writing a book or creating a business, it should not be done for an audience alone but it should be rewarding for oneself and continue to be rewarding over time
• Blog: Brain Pickings, good article to start with: How to Find Your Purpose and Do What You Love
• Recommended Book: The Republic by Plato

 

Jocko Willink   //   ex-SEAL commander, author and consultant, pp. 412    

• #1 New York Times bestseller Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win
• Podcast: Jocko Podcast
• His description of extreme ownership: “You can’t blame your boss for not giving you the support you need. Plenty of people will say, ‘It’s my bosse’s fault.' No it’s actually your fault because you haven’t educated him, you haven’t influenced him, you haven’t explained to him in a manner he understands why you need this support that you need. That’s extreme ownership. Own it all.”
• Recommended podcast: Hardcore History

 

Shay Carl   //   Youtube star and founder of Maker Studios that Disney acquired for almost $1 billion, pp.441

• Imagine yourself as a 10-year-older version of yourself. And what would this older yourself tell your current yourself.
• Saying from his grandfather: “ Work will work when nothing else will work.”

 

The Dickens Process   //   pp. 449

• An exercise from Tony Robbins’s Unleash the Power Within event
• We all have to some extend limiting beliefs that hold us back from achieving our dreams
• One belief could be “I smoked for the past decade and never had problems with it. So why should I quit?”
• So people switch between past present and future to look for justification of their beliefs
• The Dickens Process steps recommended by Tim Ferriss:
• Select two to three limiting belief
• “What has each belief cost you in the past, and what has it cost people you’ve loved in the past? What have you lost because of this belief? See it, hear it, feel it.
• What is each costing you and people you care about in the present? See it, hear it, feel it.
• What will each cost you and people you care about 1, 3, 5, and 10 years from now? See it, hear it, feel it.”
• Formulate positive replacement beliefs like “I live without smoking”, “I am a morning person”, “ I am happy by default” or “I love sports”

 

Fear-setting   //   pp. 463

• "Named must your fear be before banish it you can." Yoda from Star Wars
• "Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty."
• Take a paper, a pen and a couple of minutes for the following questions:
• Define the worst-case scenario that could happen in case you did what you are afraid of
• Define what would be needed to fix the negative outcomes
• Define the potential positive outcomes, e.g. what your could learn from it
• Define the financial, emotional and physical outcome of postponing your action
• "A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have."

 

Kevin Kelly   //   entrepreneur, co-founder of Wired magazine, pp. 470

• A Zen mantra says: “Sit, sit. Walk, walk. Don’t wobble.” It can be interpreted as doing one thing at a time and to give it 100% of your focus, when the rest of the world is constantly distracted.
• Memento mori = remember that you are going to die. Vice versa it implies that you also have to remember to live.
• Website: TrueFilms.com - I am not sure what exactly it is, but it’s worth to check it out yourself

 

Is this what I so feared   //   pp. 474

• In one of Seneca’s texts he advises to take a number of days to simulate the worst case, which is losing everything and living on the cheapest fare and clothes .
• The aim is to experience that the worst case situation is bad but not the end of the world. And when practicing the worst case on a regular basis, you are also prepared for when it occurs
• Tim Ferriss does the following for three to fourteen days:
• Sleep in a sleeping bag
• Wear simple clothes without changing them
• Use couchsurfing.com or similar services
• Have a simple diet e.g. rice & beans or eat nothing at all and fast
• Cook everything with a Kelly Kettle
• Accessing the internet only in libraries
• “Suffer a little regularly and you often cease to suffer.”

 

Whitney Cummings   //   comedian, actor, writer, producer and co-creator of 2 Broke Girls, pp. 477

• Start with “I love you”: Every time you have a conversation, say ‘I love you’ in your head and it is going to be a bit different J
• “The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing to much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.”

 

Jack Dorsey   //   co-founder and CEO of Twitter and founder and CEO of Square (p.510)

• People he learned from: Wim Hof (among others)

 

Eric Weinstein   //   mathematician and MD at Thiel Capital, pp. 523

• “And even though I wanted to do science rather than technology, it’s better to be in an expanding world and not quite in exactly the right field, than to be in a contrasting world wherer peoples’ worst behaviour comes out.”

 

Tactics for dealing with haters   //   pp. 534

• “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity. You’ll avoid the tough decisions, and you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted.” Colin Powell (p. 536)

 

Andrew Zimmern   //   chef, writer, and teacher, pp. 540

• “The most important thing in the world is to be you, not your inner actor.”

 

Rainn Wilson   //   actor in The Office, pp. 543

• “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Oskar Wild

 

Naval Ravikant   //   angel investor and co-founder and CEO of AngelList, pp. 546

• About conflict: “ The first rule  of handling conflict is don’t hang around people who are constantly engaging in conflict… All of the value in life, including in relationships, comes from compound interest. People who regularly fight with others will eventually fight with you. I’m not interested in anything that’s unsustainable or even hard to sustain, including difficult relationships.”
• “In any situation in life, you have three options. You always have three options. You can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it.”
• Naval’s laws (selected):
• Be present above all else.
• Reading (learning) is the ultimate meta-skill and can be traded for anything else.
• All greatness comes from suffering.
• Tweets from Naval:
• “If you eat, invest, and think according to what the ‘news’ advocates, you’ll end up nutritionally, financially, and morally bankrupt.”
• “We waste our time with short-term thinking and busywork. Warren Buffett spends a year deciding and a day acting. That act lasts decades.”
• A busy mind accelerates the passage of subjective time.”

 

Sam Kass   //  chef and senior White House policy advisor, pp. 558

• “Never serve anything you wouldn’t want to eat. Never serve crap. It’s Rule Number I. You can have a high standard on everything.”

 

Mike Birbiglia   //   comedian, pp. 566

• When talking to people, come up with a topic they did not expect, such as enquiring their option about kiwi, advice on being a good parent, etc.
• “(…) a lot of people are good, and a lot of people are smart, and a lot of people are clever. But not a lot of people give you their soul when they perform.” My interpretation is that to be successful there should be emotions and feelings attached to what you do in order to be truly successful.

 

Jar of Awesome   //   pp. 570

• Great things do perhaps not happen every day, but at least every now and then
• When we have a bad time, we tend to forget these great moments and overly focus on current issues
• The ‘Jar of Awesome’ is an actual jar in which you collect all the awesome moments written on little notes. How you write them is totally up to you.
• Appreciating the little wins in life also trains you to appreciate your big successes
• And just passing by the jar seeing it filled with all your small and big wins can also make a little difference to your daily mood

 

Malcom Gladwell   //   author, pp. 572

• Podcast: Revisionist History
• “ [...] as long as you understand that there is not just one good answer, it takes the pressure off.”
• Focus on the things that truly inspire you, that make want you to have a conversation about in the middle of the night. And look for like-minded people to have these conversations!

 

Stephen J. Dubner   //   author, pp. 574

• “Don’t be scared” Nobody cares about what you do every day. Nobody watches you and follows you all the time. So go out and meet people and make experiences!

 

Josh Waitzkin   //   author of The Art of Learning, pp. 577

• "The little things are the big things. [...] These little ways, you could say don’t matter, but they add up to matter hugely.”

 

Brené Brown   //   research professor at the University of Houston, pp. 586

• “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming …” Theodore Roosevelt
• “The big question I ask is, ‘When I had the opportunity, did I choose courage over comfort?”
• “[…] You can’t really earn trust over time with people without being somewhat vulnerable [first]."

 

Questions to challenge yourself (selected)   //   pp. 594

• What if I did the opposite for 48 hours à e.g. working during night instead of during the day, attend all meetings or no meeting, calling instead of sending emails?
• What would I do/have/be if I had $10 million?
• What is the worst thing that could happen? Could I get back here?
• If I could work 2 hours per week on my business, what would I do?
• What might I put in place to allow me to go ff the grid for 4 or 8 weeks, with no phone or email?
• No hurry, no pause

 

Good   //   Jocko Willinks, (p. 640)

• “When things are going bad, don’t get all bummed out, don’t get startled, don’t get frustrated. No. Just look at the issue and say: ‘Good.’”
• “If you can say the word ‘good,’ guess what?  It means you’re still alive. It means you’re still breathing.”
• Examples:
• Didn’t get promoted? Good. More time to get better.
• Didn’t get the job you wanted? Good. Go out, gain more experience, and build a better résumé.
• Got injured? Good. Needed a break from training.
• Unexpected problems? Good. We have the opportunity to figure out a solution.